Giving it Up by Amber Lin

Blowing a guy was one thing, folding his underwear seemed so…personal.

Allie Winters lives in an emotionally dark place, coping with the secrets from her past in a way that works for her. She's only told one person the truth about what happened to her and the dangerous extremes she goes to to find peace.

Allie prowls the club for a man who will use her hard and then ditch her. Hey, it's not rape if she wants it. Instead she finds Colin, who looks tough but treats her tenderly, despite her protests.

He tempts her, but kindness and a few mind-blowing orgasms aren't enough to put her back together again. Allie has no hope for a real relationship. Two years ago her best friend betrayed her in the worst possible way – she’d be stupid to trust a man again. Besides, she has her daughter to think of, the only good thing to have come from that dark night.

But when her rapist returns, threatening her sanity and custody of her daughter, Allie turns to Colin. Under his protection and patient touch, Allie begins to heal and learns to hope. Colin’s no saint, though, and his criminal past draws danger of its own. Allie must fight to protect her child and the man she loves, hoping her new-found power will be enough to save them all.

In this, her debut novel, Amber Lin tackled a difficult subject and took us inside the mind, heart and soul of a survivor. And make no mistake about it - despite her actions - Allie is a survivor. As a mother myself I appreciated how much Allie loved her daughter, despite the circumstances of her conception. She recognized that Bailey was an innocent in all that had happened, I only wish she could have recognized that she was an innocent, too. The glimpses we were allowed, the time we spent inside her head, made her internal conflict all the more poignant, and left me wishing I could wrap her in my arms and hold her until she could see herself for the amazing woman she truly is.

Colin Murphy - well, I'm a hero driven reader but this is a heroine driven story so when it comes to Colin Murphy... sadly, there's not much I can say about him. For all the insight we were given into Allie, Colin's personality - aside from sex - wasn't really developed as much as I would have liked. We know he's a bad guy doing bad guy things for his bad guy brother, but we don't get much more than that. Here we have Allie, this incredibly complex, troubled, tormented heroine... why on Earth was Colin drawn to her? What did he see in her? Why did he want her? And in the end, what made him accept her? Those are all questions that, even after finishing the story, I'm still asking myself. The little we did get to know of Colin had me liking him a lot, but not nearly as much as I wanted to. Just a bit more insight into his thoughts and feelings... well, I've no doubt I would have loved him.

Before closing I'll quickly mention that this is a dark, emotional, contemporary romance, and while the rape is not depicted in horrifying detail, Allie's desire for rough sex might make some readers uncomfortable.

The bottom line: Giving it Up is quite an impressive debut novel and I'm very much looking forward to reading more by this very talented author!

My sincerest thank you, Ms. Lin, for providing me with an eARC of this story.